when i decide to die
11/4/08
6:23 PM
death is inevitable...
all of us will die...
some may die before the others...
but...the others will die someday...
i always imagine my death this way:
my skin is wrinkled...
my hair is thinning...
im in my hospital bed....my death bed...
saying my last words to my love ones...
yes...
i wanted a dramatic death...
but...now...i probably would die because of too much blood lost...
or...because of the lack of oxygen...
yes....
i want to die now...
and the only way that it would happen is if i commit suicide...
i know that i will go to hell if i do this...
but...now...im totally down...
i think my brain is not functioning anymore...
im too tired to think...
this wouldnt be my first time to commit suicide...
i did it about ten years ago...
yes...i was 7 back then...
i drank several bottles of medicine...
too bad...
the medicine i took was only vitamins...
so...i didnt die...
hmmm..
you must think that im weird...
im posting a blog entry before i actually commit suicide...
well...
i told you that im not in my normal self...
and im not thinking anymore..
and i think no one would ever read this...
no one cares about me anyway...