mr heartbreaker is mr insensitive
7/23/08
6:21 PM
i've been talking about everyone's love life...
might as well talk about someone who broke a lot of hearts...
mr heartbreaker...
well...he's the one ang only...
PENN BADGELY...(no, he's the the same Penn from gossip girl...it's just a codename)
i dont know why a lot of people(yeah...not everyone who fell for him were girls...) loved him...
yeah...he's smart...talented...but he's not that good looking(well...there were times he looked good...like...during the prom...)
and he's INSENSITIVE...
hmmm...
i have no idea of how many people fell for him...
so...im only talking about some people...
like MARY JANE...
she and Penn were born in the same hospital rooms...and Penn is only 2 days older than her...
it's the perfect start of a beautiful love story...
but...too bad...Mary Jane is the only one in love...
well...she would deny that she loved him...
but 2 years ago...while there was a power interruption in the dorm...
we had this heart to heart talk...
she admitted that SHE LOVES HIM...
but he's too thick to notice...
Mary Jane's room in the dorm is just next to mine and i could hear her crying every night...
too bad...i couldnt do anything...
Mary Jane is my close friend, but i have to say this...
she's really acting like a bitch now...
she plays with boys...
if she gets bored with someone....
she will jump to the next guy...
i have this feeling that she's still not over Penn....
now...we dont communicate anymore...well...i text her...but she doesnt reply...
oh...well...i dont care...
move on to the next...
GINGER...
well...we thought that THEY ARE THE ONE FOR EACH OTHER...
he was sweet to her...
he even gave her chocolates on junior prom...
we thought things were going great...
but...we were wrong...
i dont know how it happen...
but one day...
Penn didnt even show any interest in Ginger anymore...
after a year...
when Ginger and I had this "heart to heart" talk...
she said that she still loves him...
and she's just an INSURANCE GIRL...
insurance girl???
yeah...if Penn doesnt find someone new...he could just run to Ginger...if Penn has someone, he leaves Ginger...something like that...
i really felt bad about it...
coz she cant move on...
urghhhh....
move on to the next...
well...this might be the most UNIQUE and INTRIGUING among the 3 stories...
KRISTOFFER...
yeah...i did post an entry about them before...so, this is just gonna be brief...
they had been best of friends during sophomore year...
they are really close to each other...
but i was really shocked when i found out that Kristoffer fell in love with Penn...(really shocked...i cried when i found out...)
anyway...
Kristoffer had been acting as if he hates Penn after the confession...
he started calling him DICKHEAD...
and they stop talking to each other...
well..i will do the same if i were in his situation...
Penn's letter is really HURTFUL...
but even if he acts like he hates him...
i know...he's still in love with him...
yeah...it's something like "hate that i love you"...
urghhh...
our class cant get enough drama...
if we send these stories to MMK...im sure...it's gonna be a hit...
do you really need a criteria for your ideal mate??
6:08 PM
do you really need a criteria for your ideal mate??
that question makes me wonder all the time...
one of my aunt told me that the "criteria" will be useless coz girls often end up with the complete opposite of the guy we wanted...
truth be told, Jerry(my first love), doesnt FIT my criteria...
well...i wanted a Chinese guy who has the same religion as i do(to avoid conflict...)....
Jerry???For sure, he's not Chinese....and he's a Catholic...
then...why do i still have this list???
well...i'm starting to lose hope coz i dont think Jerry's gonna reciprocate my love for him...so why not look for someone new???
there's a lot of fishes in the sea...
plus...im only 17...why would i force myself to someone who doesnt give a damn about me...
urghh...
i wish it's that simple...
he may not fit my criteria, but he's the epitome of perfection...
perfect??
yeah...
- he's handsome...
- he's rich...
- he's smart...
- he's very sociable...
- he's talented...(he sings, dance, acts...etc...)
- he's athletic...(he plays badminton well...)
- he's fit...
- and last but not the least..."heaven scent"...(you can smell him 10 meters away...)
hayz...
see...
it's not that easy..
im still love struck...
urghhhh...
i will never get over him...
'Nuff about me..
7/22/08
10:19 PM
Well…im tired of talking about my love life…and I want to talk about my friends’ love life…
In our batch, “same class love affair” is not popular. The couples are usually not classmates…for example: Kathleen and Norman, Amelie and Francis, Christine and Ivan, etc. (well, it’s not their real names for privacy’s sake..)
I guess, if you’re in a “same class love affair”, it won’t work out.
In our class, there’s only one couple who’s consistent.
Edward and Janice…
They have been an item since sophomore years…but…I don’t know about their future…considering Edward is studying abroad…
The other loveteams in our class have super sad stories…yeah, they do like each other (love, even)….but let’s just say that “love is not enough”…
For example…
Andrew and Jasmine…
They dated when we were juniors…but it didn’t work ot since Andrew is TOO POSSESSIVE and super JEALOUS…
But after sometime, they tried to work out their relationship-sadly, it didn’t work out..
Yeah, I know that up to now, Andrew still loves Jasmine. He did tell Kristoffer that if ONLY HE HAS ANOTHER CHANCE, he won’t be possessive anymore…
But sadly, HE CANT HAVE THAT CHANCE….
Why???
You see, he’s currently studying in DLSU-manila… Jasmine is studying here in Iloilo. As much as WE (well, we all want them to be together…) them together, it wont happen…
Another story is Ginger and Chris’….
Chris’ loves Ginger…
How did I know that? Well, Chris’ is very talkative…but when Ginger’s around, he keeps quiet. He’s acting abnormally….
Earlier this year, Ginger gave him a chance. They went out for a week, I think.
But when Ginger found out that Penn and Haley broke up… her week of dating Chris’ was forgotten…
We all know that Ginger is in love with Penn (yeah, Mr. Heartbreaker, a lot of girls and gays fell for him)
I cant blame Ginger…she cant control her heart…well…the only wrong thing she did was GIVE CHRIS’ A CHANCE…coz Chris’ hoped….
HOPE THAT ONE DAY, SHE’S GONNA LOVE HIM BACK…
But the greatest story, and also the most complicated one, is Mathilde and Ken’s…
When we were still freshmen, they went out for 5 months…unfortunately, Mathilde broke up with Ken before our summer vacation…
During our sophomore year, Mathilde tried to get back with Ken…but Ken said that he doesn’t want to get hurt again…He’s afraid that Mathilde would leave him again…
That year, Ken and Janessa, a freshman, got together. Well, not really together, only mutual understanding…and they were officially together last June 2007…
Destiny is such a funny thing. You can really see its works…
Last December 2007, we had our annual kris kringle (SP-SP)…
Hmmm…
Well…would you like to guess who Mathilde’s secret pal is???
(background music: drum rolls…)
KEN!!!
During out Christmas Party, we exchanged gifts…
We found out that Mathilde inserted a letter in her gift to Ken…
In the letter, Mathilde explained why Mathilde broke up with him…
That very day, Ken texted Mathilde…
“you don’t know of how long I’ve been waiting for the answer to my question…why did you broke up with me? if only I’ve known it sooner…it wont be like this..”
Starting that day, Ken became extra sweet to Mathilde…
We all know that Ken is in a band and they played last December 2007 on SM City parking area…
He asked Mathilde (through text) if she’s in SM City…she replied “yes”…he asked her if she wants him to accompany her…but she said no because Janessa might be around…(yeah, you got it right, Janessa and Ken are still together…Boo her…)
Anyway…
Im about to tell you what made me SAY that their story is the BEST…
(In Mathilde’s house, her cousin and uncle just had a drinking session. Mathilde was cleaning their mess so she couldn’t answer the phone, which was ringing…So her cousin was the one who talked to Ken, who was the caller…)
Convo…I’ve translated it for the benefit of everyone who cant understand ilonggo…
Cousin: Bord, may miga ka na? (Do you have a girlfriend?)
Ken: Huo… (Yes…)
Cousin: The, palangga mo siya? (So, do you love her?)
Ken: Huo eh…. (Yes… àlack of conviction)
Cousin: The, ang pakas-a ko ya, palangga mo man? (So, do you also love my cousin?)
Ken:
Cousin: Bord, lalake man ko bala, man-an ko kung in lab ka sa isa ka babae… (I’m a guy too…I know if you’re in love with a girl…)
Ken:
Cousin: Hindi niya man ni mabati-an… (She won’t be able to hear this anyway…)
Ken: Huo. Palangga ko gid siya… (Yes… I love her very much…)
The entire time, Mathilde was standing beside her cousin… the speaker phone was on… in short, she heard everything….
See…so SWEET…love it…
But too bad…Ken is studying in Bohol…Mathilde is in UP-Diliman. They are separated by lands and seas…but is their love for each other enough? Well, it’s for me to know, and for you to find out…
Talk all you want, you’re only making us famous…
8:10 PM
Talk all you want, you’re only making us famous…
These past few months, our family had been the talk of the town…
Well, it’s because we were able to put up a school…
We’re not that rich, so the people were surprised to see the school…
They keep on spreading the rumors about our American friends were the ones who are sending the money for the school…
Yeah, that was the ORIGINAL plan, but my dad lost contacts with his partners…
So, we just used OUR own money to build that school…
Then, there’s this mother-daughter, who were really bitter because our school became popular…
The daughter is a poor-excuse-of-a-teacher, from another school, who’s really jealous of us since the parents pulled out their students to transfer in our school because our teachers are BOARD PASSERS…and she’s NOT…
I mean, if you’re the parent, why would you enroll your kids to a school wherein the teacher is not even a board passer…
And then, there’s the mother…
The major backstabbing bitch…
She’s a dressmaker…and she reacted when she found out that we contacted another dressmaker to make the uniforms…
Why didn’t we ask you to make the uniforms???
Hello…the answer is very obvious, deer (yeah…coz you look like a deer…)
COZ YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOOD AT SEWING CLOTHES
Hmmm…
What else…
Oh…since the school is a Christian school, a mission school, people are spreading rumors that we are only making money coz of the tuition fees…
Then…they found out that more than half of the pupils in our school are SCHOLARS…which means, our family is the one paying for them…
Hmmm…eat what you say…
Talk all you want…
You’re making us really, really famous…
And there’s this OLD MAN…
Respected by everyone…he smiles at us everytime we meet him…but when we’re not around he’s one of those people who have nothing to do but spread rumors about us…
Poor you…
You don’t know who you are messing with…
Spread more rumors about our family…I’ll spread the truth about you…
And im sure…having a MISTRESS is really scandalous…
You don’t know how destructive I can be…
Hmmmm…
There’s this PIG, yeah…she’s fat…and she’s my aunt(I disowned her…I wont connect myself to that…that…THING..)
She’s one of the people who are doing the DEMARKETING…
What’s demarketing???
Well, it’s like convincing people NOT to enroll in our school…
Yeah…I can’t believe that there are people like that…
But you know what, piggie….
No one’s gonna believe you!!
Why???
Coz you don’t even have a REPUTATION…
You haven’t proven to anyone that you are reliable…
Oh…poo you (yeah...not poor you…you’re like SHIT)…
Well…life’s a bitch…and so are you…
Hmmm…
Another bitches…well, another fat whore and black fungus…
Too bad…
You’re not good in demarketing also…
If you’re doing something, do you’re best…so that you won’t look FOOLISH…
Yeah...you look like fools…
You look like angels when in front of many people…but you know what???
Devils couldn’t hide their tails…
Continue spreading the words, okay???
Coz I want the school to be famous…
Oh…continue spreading word about my family…
I’LL RUIN YOU…
i go crazy
5:00 AM
"getting over you was slow...but i never thought that i would see you again...i go crazy, when i look in your eyes..i still go crazy..."
these world explain what i exactly feel. i thought i got over him, but everytime i see him, i realize that im still in love with him...
people say that "distance makes the heart grow fonder, or go and find another?"
i used to believe in the latter statement..well...after he graduated(he was 2 years my senior), we seldom see each other considering i'm studying here in iloilo and he's there in ateneo de manila university...
well, i found another crush the year after he graduated, but when he came back on the last day of Intramurals, i cant help help but realize that he's still the one...
WTF...
3 years???how could i love someone that long??
the day he visited is still fresh in my mind. and i cant help but cry after the day was over...
the next year, (im a senior that time) he came back again. but i was so busy doing my research that i only glanced at him...it was one of the happiest and saddest day of my life...
why???
happiest- coz i got to see him after a year of waiting
saddest- coz i wasnt able to look at him long enough...
well...thats four years!!!
to end all this, i want to share what i read somewhere...
"If you love someone for a year, it takes 3 years for you to forget that someone"hmmm...
i've been loving him for 4 years, that means, if i try to forget about him now, after 12 years, i wont love him anymore....
too bad, there's this saying that "
first love never dies"..he's my first love, how could i forget him??
Brain: Stop loving him...
Heart: How could i stop loving him??
Brain: Forget about him..
Heart: How could i forget about him if you're always thinking about him??
fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me
1:09 AM
I never though i would be THIS confused…
Well...a friend already warned about him…
I know he’s nothing but a liar…
But still…I continued taking to him…
No, I did not fell for him…
But…
Im feeling something else…
PITY…
Im not suppose to pity him…
But how can I not???
He told me he had this accident…
And the way he’s talking now…
I bet he’s already dying…
So what seems to be the problem??
It’s okay to pity someone right??
But this guy…
He’s a liar…
And like they say…
‘Once a liar, always a liar’
And we only communicate through text…
I mean…he can lie to me again…
And now…
I don’t know on what to believe in…
There’s this saying…
“fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me…”
If I wont be careful…
I might end up being the victim again…
He fooled me once…but I’m not letting him fool me again…
dream guy
7/20/08
9:22 PM
last summer...i had this dream...
"i and my family went to a party..nothing to fancy...i was wearing jeans...and a simple top... well...that party was for the adults so i got bored....i went around the house...i entered a room...and it was connected to a balcony...well...wanting some fresh air, i went outside to the balcony...when i arrived there, i saw a guy about my age...he was cute...and we talked all night long..."
and then...i woke up...
i forgot his face...
the next night..i had the same dream...
but this time..it had a continuation...
"after we talked...the guy held my hand and asked me if i want to go with him...i said yes...we went to the garden...and it was really beautiful...and suddenly...the guy disappeared.."
then..i woke up...
i could remember the guy's face...
after a few days...while i was chatting with some friends, someone invited me in yahoo messenger...since i was bored and all...i accepted his invitation...
we chatted and chatted..until my fingers were already aching..so i bid him goodbye...
(he seems to be a perfect guy...well..he seems smart...nice...and i know..he's rich..considering he's from ateneo...but i still dont know how he looks like...)
well...after that...
i dreamt of my dream guy again...
the next day...
mr atenista chatted with me again...
this time...he showed his picture...
WTF...
he looks like my DREAM GUY...
what's this...COINCIDENCE???
(i, myself, dont believe in coincidence...i think everything works together for good)
well...
we had another enjoyable day...
but one day...
he didnt chat with me...
and the day extended to weeks...
after 2 weeks...
we chatted again...
but fate is so mean...
there was a power interruption...
well...we only chatted for 10 minutes...then...OFF...
urghhh...
after that day..
we were not able to chat again...
until this day...
im still waiting...
yeah...waiting in vain...
my non-existent love life
7/18/08
9:12 PM
well..the if you read my previous post about "romeo and juliet...Up style", romeo is ONLY my crush...urghh...he doesnt even know me...i think...
but even if i have a lot of crushes...there is ONLY one person in my heart...just call him Jerry...
i met him 4 years ago, june 2, 2004...during the freshman orientation program...he was a junior that time and he volunteered to help in the FOP...
well, i noticed him that day...and i instantly fall in crush with him...he's so cute and so funny...and so nice...and so talented...
i told one of my friends, Queen, about my "crush"....she told me that she knows him and in fact, she have his number...she gave it to me...and it's the start of my "love story"...
the first time i texted him, i used my nanny's cellphone....i told him my name is Fleur....he was so kind enough to reply to my messages...but one day, someone texted me saying he is Jerry..of course, i believed in it...but...i found out that he's not Jerry..since im friends with Jerry's roommate, Penn....
i stopped texting him using my nanny's phone...and i used my OWN phone...i texted him again...i told him my name is Dasmille...and he's really nice coz he replied to my messages...
this time...no one texted me claiming he's Jerry...
on July 24, 2004....Jerry texted me this:
"wouldn't it be proper to know who you are texting"...
yeah..he found out who i am...
but well..it made our "secret friendship" stronger...
well...our text escapades only lasted for 2 years...after he graduated...he seldom text me...(well..we chat in ym...)
anyway...i dont know if he likes me or what...
i mean...im not pretty...i dont excel in school...why would he want someone like me???
but im really happy that he became my friend...
he tells me personal stuff...like...when his grandfather got hospitalized because of Parkinson's disease..and i know his sibling's birthday...i know where he lives...etc...
the only weird thing about our secret friendship....we dont talk to each other...if we meet each other in malls, school,etc...we would just text our greetings to each other...
i haven't talked to him...but he did....july 5, 2004...(he's still not my textmate that time...)
we met in the mall...he waved at me and said..."hello freshy.."(couldnt forget that day...)
well..it sounds so obsessive...but it's not...it's just what you call---LOVE...
you do crazy stuff when you're in love...
anyway...
im always one of the first people to greet him on his birthday...
i greeted him "happy birthday" (2004) at 12:01 am...
on his 16th birthday...(2005)...i bought several birthday cards...
i asked Penn if he could give it to Jerry on his birthday...(i gave it to Penn the day before Jerry's birthday)...
the next day...when Jerry woke up...he saw a birthday card on his bed...when he went to his mirror...he saw another one...when he went to his desk....he saw another one...when he was about to go out of the room...he saw another birthday card on the door...
okay...i know...it's somewhat obsessive..but i find it sweet...
im glad made him happy that day...
and on Christmas...i gave him a bottle of his favorite perfume...
well...on april 1, 2006....he graduated...
he enrolled in Ateneo de Manila University...taking up a pre-med course...
starting that day...i get to see him ONLY once a year...
then...for his 17th birthday...i asked him to give me a list of his favorite songs...
he gave me a list(about 60 songs...)
i downloaded each song...made 3 Albums...i burnt the songs on the CD...
and i gave it to him(through Penn, again..) on his birthday(he was visiting the school that time...)
hmm...
what can i say...
i love him...
of course...
i'll do that for him...
i wish he liked it...
i dont know if he likes me...
only his friends tease us..
and i could still remember...
when one of his friends, Kevin, introduced me to one of their friends...
Kevin:oh...Ash...wait..i want to introduce you to someone...
Ashley:who???
Kevin:(calls for their friend) Patrice..this is Ashley...the girl in Jerry's heart...
Ashley:(talks to myself)what?!
Ashley:(waved to Patrice)oh..hello....uhmm...i have to leave...i still have a class...bye Kev...bye Patrice..
wtf....i wish it's true...
and i wish....
that someday...
he will love me too....
all good things come to an end
1:35 AM
im naturally a cheerful person...
yeah..i do cry..
but i cry in secret...
i dont let anyone see my tears...
these past few days had been so stressful in my part...
why??
well, aside from our exams...
there's something else that has been bothering me...
for your information, im a daddy's girl...
im really close to my dad and he talks to me about his concerns all the time, and vice versa...
well...he just told me that he wants to get separated to my mom...
i do understand him...
my mom could be so.....errrr...difficult...
difficult??
yeah...she have this morning and night syndrome...
she would start rambling about anything...
blaming everyone...
and it happens everytime we are together(the whole family)...
and no..this is not just "menopause"...
my mom is really like that...
and my dad is losing his patience...
but it really saddens me...
if they separate...
where will we go???
i mean...i couldnt choose(without consequence)...
well..of course i will choose my dad, but my mom would be very mad at me if will do that...
and if they separate...where will my sister and brother go???
i dont want to be separated with them...
and where will we stay???
urghh...
im so stressed because if school...and family matters....
im tired already....
it's not too late.you still have time.prove to yourself that you're a man
7/17/08
3:05 AM
God created man and woman...nothing in between...
yeah...im against HOMOSEXUALITY...
but someone made me confused about that "being against homosexuals"...
i have this friend, kristoffer...
he's really a good friend and he often gives me advice (about my tragic love life...)
i really could count on him...
but one day...i found out that he's in love...
he told me that the person he's in love with is very different from all the girls he liked before...
i thought about it for days...
hmmm...who could she be...
one day...while i was sitting in front of the pc....opening my yahoo messenger...i saw that kristoffer was online...
so, i started a conversation...
he asked me if i already knew who is he in love with...
obviously, i said no...
and then he said...
try guessing...
i tried to mention all the "unique"(since he said that 'this one is different') girls from the batch...
he said no to all..
he asked me again..
are you sure it's a girl???
then...
i gasped...
WTF?!
he told me that he's in love with his bestfriend...
as in, his bestfriend, Penn...
Penn...who is also my friend...
OMFG....
then...
FLASHBACK
there was a time when Penn was busy preparing for a intermission number(he's good in singing by the way...)
Kristoffer was helping him looking for the lyrics and of course...Kristoffer would be the one to provide the minus one...
they were in the cafeteria when i saw them...Kristoffer told me NOT to interrupt them...okay, i was offended...but, after i found out...i understood..(Kristoffer confronted Penn..he told him he loves him...)
then...i saw Kristoffer crying after that...
then...Penn asked me if he could borrow my CD...
convo:
Penn:can i borrow your CD???
Me: why??
Penn:it's for my song number..
Me: i thought you already have a song..it's in Kristoffer's CD...
Penn: nope...he threw the CD away..couldnt find it...
Me:why would he do that?that's stupid...
Penn:just let me borrow your CD...
Me:oh..here is it...
Penn:thanks...
okay...explanation...
Kristoffer and Penn had an argument because of the "confrontation"..and Kris threw his CD...
after that..
things became heated between the two...
they USED to be best of friends...
but...well..after that incident...
it wasnt the same anymore...
after the confrontation...
Penn wrote a letter to Kris...
here is goes:(only excerpts...)
"it's not too late.you still have time.prove to yourself that you're a man!"(yeah...it sounds like a piece of crap...wehehe..)
anyway...
Kristoffer is just a bisexual...
it's not yet too late...
he can still change..
even though im against homosexuals...and bisexuals..
Kris will always be my friend...
who am i??that's one secret i'll never tell
7/16/08
8:30 PM
urghhh...some people are bugging me lately...
coz im not telling them of this new blog of mine...
of course...i wont tell them...
this blog is my little dark secret...
hmmm...
who am i???
well..im not going to reveal myself...
but i could at least give you some clues...
1. im a self-proclaimed Blog Addict...i have several blogs actually...i have 2 in blogspot, 2 in livejournal, 3 in multiply(one for my own..2 for my groups..) and i have other blogs in other sites like friendster, blogdrive..etc...
2. i read a lot...i buy every good book i see...but if im broke or something, i just settle for E-books or stories found in fictionpress.com or fanfiction.net
3. arghhh...i have this sickness..i buy everything i see...well...im really stingy.(yey...more savings!!)..but thank God im always with my parents when we go shopping or when we go to malls...i la la la love shopping...
4. urghh...oh...im super sensitive...i cry all the time...but this past few days..i wasnt able to cry..coz i dont feel like crying...
5. im such a loser...
6. im partially homophobic...uhm..im scared...of lesbians...they are just...freaky..
7. im in love with a guy i met 4 years ago...in high school...damnit...we're friends...just friends...
urghh....for the past two years...we see each other once a year...coz he's studying in ateneo..and m here...in our province...damnit...
urghh...
im tired of typing...plus i have to go back to school...
toodles...
romeo and juliet...UP style
7/15/08
1:16 AM
yeah...he's my romeo..and im his juliet...
why is that so???
because he's a freaking activist...
my parents wont allow me "dating" or having an activist for a boyfriend...
i have been thinking lately about joining his group...
but when i told my mom about it..she freaked out...
she's gonna withdraw my enrollment in Up if i try to be one of the activist...
i even tried to tell my grandma about wanting to be an activist..
but my mom told me that if i still want my grandma to live...
i better shut my mouth...
there it goes...im shutting my mouth..but that doesn't mean that i cant blog about it...
last month..
i met one of my elementary schoolmate, who happens to be my cousin's(parker) ex classmate...
well, anyway...
he told us(me and my cousin, emma, who's taking the same course as i do) that he was surprised to see the two of us studying in UP coz he thought that our family is anti-UP...
yeah..it was pretty tackless...but i really dont mind..
he really got it right...
since my cousin, parker, was not able to enroll in UP because of my grandma's warning(he passes the UPCAT!!!)
my grandma really dont want us to study in UP cause she's afraid that we would become activist and join rallies...
(she could die because of heart attack if we join the activists you know..)
anyway...
there goes my romeo and juliet story...
urghhh...
i hate my life...
proud to be iska??
12:58 AM
iska is a term for female UP students...while it's male counterpart is isko..which is a short term for iskolar ng bayan...
iskolar ng bayan...are we really scholars of the country??
what does scholar mean???
scholar, in my own words, is a person having benefits like FREE TUITION or STIPENDS/ALLOWANCES...we can be also be called a partial scholar if we are given a discount...
but not all of us in UP can be considered a SCHOLAR...
why is that so???
because we have to pay our tuition..and the tuition of the "top university of the philippines", a government-owned university, is even more expensive than that of the other private colleges and universities...
truth be told, im not gravely affected with this "tuition hike" 'cause i only studied in UP because of it's name...(i mean...when people heard that you're a UP graduate...you can get job easily..)
im only after "quality education"...yeah...UP has "quality education" on a much cheaper price...
but..after this tuition hike thingy..i would much rather transfer to Ateneo, since Ateneo is a great school too...at least...when studying in Ateneo..i know where my money goes...
in UP???most of the teachers dont hold classes...i mean...for example..our history class for the month of july...we only met once...and it's already mid-july...we pay for that class...and we want to get what we paid for...
im not even complaining that she gives us essays for test and homework..cause, believe it or not...i do love having classes...
hmmpph...and next week we dont have classes again...because of the "foundation week" celebration...
now..im still wondering...where do our money go???
only my first post and i cant think of a creative title
7/13/08
8:46 PM
hey, im ashley(not my real name, but you can call me 'ash') sorry if im not telling you my real name, i just want to stay anonymous.(well, my identity is not important anyway...)
people think that i have a perfect life..yeah...im studying in a great school, my parents provide me with everything i need, i have lots of friends, i have good grades, i dont do household chores cause i have my yaya...what more can i ask for???
but is my life really perfect??
UP is such a great school, no questions about that. But it's not my dream school..
Ateneo has always been my dream school..(that's why i support Ateneo more than i support UP)
back when i was still in 4th year high school, my family had a financial problem..i couldn't even pay for an ACET application form...
the only money my parents gave me was my allowance...(thank God we are not that poor..i could still go to school...)
i could still remember the green-eyed monster i've become when my classmates and friends took the exam..i was really jealous of them...
and a few days ago, while my sister and my dad were talking about college entrance exams...my sister told him that she's taking the ACET...well..since i heard it...i couldnt help but feel a bit of jealousy...my sister is very lucky cause we are now financially stable and she could pretty much apply for every school she wants to apply...
i cried in front of my dad...and he asked me if i want to transfer...of course i said yes...but truth be told..im already happy with my life in UP...i have new friends...i love my schedule..and the best thing about studying in UP?it's near our house...
anyway...
speaking of new friends...
i used to think that i have a lot of friends...but those stupid people only used me...
i let them copy my homework..i research for them...i even pay for their expenses sometimes...
and when im the one who needs their help...all they did was abandon me...
there was a point in time were i didnt talk to anyone...
my bestfriend is not my classmate and we have a different schedule...and there were times were i would just eat alone during lunch time...
i became really depressed...and then..i started hurting myself...
yeah..im manic depressive...in short...bipolar...
my depression lasted for almost the whole school year....
but after our batch retreat...i got to open up with one of my classmate...
she's the one who made me stop(well...try to avoid, maybe) hurting myself...(with a few therapy of course...)
from time to time..i still hurt myself...but not to the point were i could see my blood...
but to those dumb people who i used to call friends...
you're stupid bitches...
you have ugly grades(oh my..i couldnt believed that you graduated...oh yeah...you graduated because of my help...)
you are ugly SLUTS who switch boyfriends(ugly boyfriends) from time to time..
my my...im so bitter...
anyway...
i'll better stop this...i've become the antagonist of my own blog...
well..
until next time..
toodles...